Your Smallest Fear

“Honey, please don’t play bounce the balloon by the T.V.” I said to My Six Year Old

“How much damage do you really think a little balloon could do to a great big T.V.?” she asked.

“My biggest fear,” I told her, “Is that you might dive for the balloon and crash into the T.V. and make it tip over on top of you.  The T.V. can be replaced, but I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“Oh,” she said.  Then she paused for a minute and then said, “Daddy, what is your smallest fear?”

Scorpion Crossing

“Dad, can we go to a real desert someday?  Like they have in Egypt?” My Six Year Old asked.

“Well,” I said, “your great grandma lives in a real desert and you have visited her so you’ve been to a real desert.  But if you want to go back we can drive there.”

“Do they have those triangle things, like in Egypt?” she asked excitedly.

“You mean pyramids?  They don’t have pyramids.”

“No, not pyramids.  Those triangles that are just made of sand that piled up.”

“Do you mean sand dunes?” I asked.

“Yeah!  Do they have sand dunes?”

“Yes,” I said, “they have sand dunes.”

“Wait,” she said with sudden concern, “do they have scorpions?”

“Yeah,” I said, “they have scorpions.  But not too many.”

“But are they poisonous?” she asked.

“Well, you can just avoid the scorpions.” I told her.

“Oh!” she said with great relief in her voice, “so, like, they have signs and stuff to tell you where the scorpions are so you can avoid them.”

Sleeping Position Possibilities

“What position do you think I should sleep in tonight?” My Six Year Old asked, “Side,  Back, Other side, Belly, Star, or Banana?  I think probably star.”

She showed me “star” and I said, “I think that’s called “spread eagle.”

“Nah,” she said, “I call it star.”

“Well,” I said, “at least if you ever hear anyone say spread eagle you’ll know what they mean.”

“Yes,” she said nodding, “they mean star!”

Unicorn With No Horn

“Do you want to see the new way I invented to get on a swing?” My Six Year Old Asked, “First you back way up and then you imagine you’re a unicorn with no horn and then you run and jump on the swing.”

“Wouldn’t a unicorn with no horn just be a horse?” I asked her.

“No Daddy,” she said with exasperation.  “I mean a unicorn whose horn blew off in the wind.  You have to imagine you’re a unicorn that lost its horn and you have to run faster than the wind to get it back.”

“Does imagining that help you run faster?” I asked

“Oh yeah!” she exclaimed.

Preemptive Band-Aid

“Daddy, I got a paper cut.” My Six Year Old informed me.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “let me see it.  Is it bleeding?”

“Well,” she replied, “it isn’t bleeding right now, but I think it is going to start bleeding soon.  Daddy, can I please have a preemptive band-aid before it starts bleeding?”

More Of A Wake Up Song

“Would you like me to sing to you?” I asked My Six Year Old as I tucked her into bed.

“Sure!” she said with excitement, “how about Peter and the Wolf?  You’re going to need a french horn, a violin, an oboe, a bassoon, a clarinet, and then you do the timpani drum, add some sound effects, and a story teller.  I guess you could have a story teller robot if you want.”

“Sweetie,” I said, “I am not going to do a performance of Peter and the Wolf.”

“Oh yeah,” she replied, “I guess that’s more of a wake up song.”

Chocolate Candles

Quadruple Chocolate Cake

“What kind of cake do you want for your actual birthday on Friday?” I asked my five year old.

“Is it my birthday party?” she asked.

“No, your birthday party with your friends is on a different day.  But on your actual birthday we’ll go out to dinner, and then come home and have a small cake and open some presents.  What kind of cake would you like?”

“Oh, okay.” she said. “I want chocolate cake, with chocolate frosting, and chocolate chips, and chocolate sprinkles.”

“Okay.” I replied with a grin. “I think we can do that.”

“Daddy,” she said, “can I also get chocolate candles?”

I laughed and said, “Sweetie, I don’t think they have candles actually made out of chocolate.  But I think you’ve already got plenty of chocolate in that cake.”

“Oh alright.”

So I bought a chocolate cake, with chocolate frosting, and chocolate chips, and chocolate sprinkles and My Five Year Old became My Six Year Old.

Encouraging Both Creativity and Honesty

We have reached an age where my darling little angel has started telling stories.  This can be tricky because I am trying to promote both creativity and honesty.  For example, she started school this week and she was telling me about her new teacher’s reward system.

“When we our class gets compliments, we get a class reward.” she told me.
“Oh, really?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said, “like if we get five compliments then our teacher takes us all out to a restaurant for lunch.  We all have to crowd into her car, but it’s fun.  In fact, we got five compliments yesterday so we all got to go!”
“Really?” I asked.  “What restaurant did she take you to?”
“Well, I don’t remember the name.” she replied.
“Hmmm, what kind of food was it?” I prodded.
“Tex-Mex” she answered, without a hint of hesitation.  “She took us all out for Tex-Mex.  It was delicious.”
So, I was fairly certain her teacher had not in fact loaded the whole class into her car for Tex-Mex.  But I approached this carefully.
“You know sweetie, I love it when you are creative.  But it is very important to make sure you tell people when you are being creative and making up a story.  Now, are you being creative and making up a story?” I asked carefully.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you.  Yes, I’m making up a story.” she answered happily.

Let’s Huddle

“Daddy, let’s Huddle.  That’s something new I made up, it’s a combination of a hug and a cuddle.  You can call it a Hug Cuddle.  You can also call it an H.C. for short.  Or you can call it my favorite, which is Huddle.  Daddy, let’s Huddle.”