“Daddy, I got a paper cut.” My Six Year Old informed me.
“I’m sorry,” I said, “let me see it. Is it bleeding?”
“Well,” she replied, “it isn’t bleeding right now, but I think it is going to start bleeding soon. Daddy, can I please have a preemptive band-aid before it starts bleeding?”
“Would you like me to sing to you?” I asked My Six Year Old as I tucked her into bed.
“Sure!” she said with excitement, “how about Peter and the Wolf? You’re going to need a french horn, a violin, an oboe, a bassoon, a clarinet, and then you do the timpani drum, add some sound effects, and a story teller. I guess you could have a story teller robot if you want.”
“Sweetie,” I said, “I am not going to do a performance of Peter and the Wolf.”
“Oh yeah,” she replied, “I guess that’s more of a wake up song.”
“What kind of cake do you want for your actual birthday on Friday?” I asked my five year old.
“Is it my birthday party?” she asked.
“No, your birthday party with your friends is on a different day. But on your actual birthday we’ll go out to dinner, and then come home and have a small cake and open some presents. What kind of cake would you like?”
“Oh, okay.” she said. “I want chocolate cake, with chocolate frosting, and chocolate chips, and chocolate sprinkles.”
“Okay.” I replied with a grin. “I think we can do that.”
“Daddy,” she said, “can I also get chocolate candles?”
I laughed and said, “Sweetie, I don’t think they have candles actually made out of chocolate. But I think you’ve already got plenty of chocolate in that cake.”
So I bought a chocolate cake, with chocolate frosting, and chocolate chips, and chocolate sprinkles and My Five Year Old became My Six Year Old.
We have reached an age where my darling little angel has started telling stories. This can be tricky because I am trying to promote both creativity and honesty. For example, she started school this week and she was telling me about her new teacher’s reward system.
“When we our class gets compliments, we get a class reward.” she told me.
“Oh, really?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said, “like if we get five compliments then our teacher takes us all out to a restaurant for lunch. We all have to crowd into her car, but it’s fun. In fact, we got five compliments yesterday so we all got to go!”
“Really?” I asked. “What restaurant did she take you to?”
“Well, I don’t remember the name.” she replied.
“Hmmm, what kind of food was it?” I prodded.
“Tex-Mex” she answered, without a hint of hesitation. “She took us all out for Tex-Mex. It was delicious.”
So, I was fairly certain her teacher had not in fact loaded the whole class into her car for Tex-Mex. But I approached this carefully.
“You know sweetie, I love it when you are creative. But it is very important to make sure you tell people when you are being creative and making up a story. Now, are you being creative and making up a story?” I asked carefully.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you. Yes, I’m making up a story.” she answered happily.
“Daddy, let’s Huddle. That’s something new I made up, it’s a combination of a hug and a cuddle. You can call it a Hug Cuddle. You can also call it an H.C. for short. Or you can call it my favorite, which is Huddle. Daddy, let’s Huddle.”
“Daddy, how big is the biggest shark in the world?” My Five Year Old asked.
“Sharks can get really big.” I answered.
“Bigger than your car?” she asked.
“There are sharks that are bigger than a school bus.” I answered.
“Wow!” she said, “How many children would fit in it?”
“What?” I asked.
“How many children would fit in the shark that’s bigger than a school bus?” she asked.
“I have no idea sweetie. I don’t know if anyone’s ever measured a shark that way before.”
“Daddy, I’m too tired to do homework tonight.”
“Well okay,” I replied, “you know what the rule is. You can always say you are too tired to do anything else tonight, but that means we go straight to bed and turn out the lights with no reading.”
“But Daddy, if I don’t do my homework I’ll get an N with a circle around it, and you know what that stands for.
“What does that stand for?”
“N is for naughty. An N with a circle around it is short for naughty, so I can’t get an N with a circle around it.”
“N doesn’t stand for naughty sweetie, it stands for Not Complete.”
“Oh, I thought it stood for naughty.”
“Daddy, did you know that if you count numbers that they go on forever?” My Five Year Old asked me.
“Yes I did.” I replied, “Do you know what that is called when numbers go on forever.”
“Yes,” she answered, “that’s called infinity. Morna told me that.”
“Well,” I asked, “did you know there are different kinds of infinity?”
“Oh sure,” she said, “for example there’s counting numbers, and there’s T.V. shows.”
“T.V. shows?” I asked, surprised.
“Oh sure,” she said, “whenever you finish watching a T.V. show there is always another one you can watch.”
My Five Year Old, My Girlfriend, and I were walking around Denton square and we went into Cartwright’s for dinner. Cartwright’s is a casual restaurant and when we walked in we were told to seat ourselves.
My Five Year Old began walking from table to table, passing by all the tables in the front of the restaurant. She started toward the back of the restaurant, and one of the employees said, “I’m sorry, but the back room is closed.”
My Five Year Old looked at him with exasperation and said, “But I can’t find any tables for three people!”
Another waitress overheard this and said smiling”No, we don’t have any triangle shaped tables.”
My girlfriend and I quickly explained that we could sit at a table for four and just leave a chair vacant. My girlfriend even offered up the idea that the fourth chair could be for her purse.
“Daddy,” my five year old said excitedly, “I am trying to make you a surprise!”
“Oh really?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said. “I already have two baseball bats, a foam dinosaur, and some smiley face stickers. All I need is some tape. Can you please help me find some tape please?”